


Burden

by cryingoverfiction



Series: Iwaoi angst fest [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, high school fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:58:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingoverfiction/pseuds/cryingoverfiction
Summary: "If he ran away right now, no one would notice, no one would care, because Oikawa Tooru was a burden."





	

Oikawa sat on the bench in the locker room. Practice had been terrible and his knee had been giving him grief. All of his serves fell short and his tosses were unsuccessful. Shittykawa is what Iwaizumi called him. 

"Shittykawa focus!" Hajime had yelled. Oikawa looked away and mumbled a quick 'sorry' before returning his attention to the game. He swears he heard some of the first years snicker. He tried not to be put off by it. Didn't everyone laugh at the kings who had fallen? Iwaizumi hadn't called him any more names after that, but you didn't have to be a genius to know he wanted to. 

He'd tried to save the ball, but he landed on his bad knee, and the other half of the team scored a point. When they looked over at him with their false concern, he played it off. Pretended he fell on his good knee. They believed him too easily. 

The game ended with Oikawa's side losing 12-25. He'd stayed behind in the lockers, watching everyone walk past him, not even giving him a second thought as they headed home, until he sat alone. He glanced to his phone. It was now 6:30pm. His family would have already had dinner by then. Not even his own mother noticed him. 

He figured he couldn't really blame her. He was rarely at his home anyway, and when he was, he wasn't a good son, always with an attitude. His family would probably be better off without him. 

They all would be better off without him, really. His family wouldn't have to deal with a disappointment of a son, who let his grades fall to focus on volleyball, which didn't pay off because he didn't even make it to nationals. They also wouldn't have to deal with the shame of having a gay son. His team would be better off, they could get a decent captain, one they could count on to not get too cocky, one who could take them to nationals. And Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi would probably be the happiest of them all if Oikawa wasn't there. He knew that the other man was only with him out of obligation. They'd known each other since they were children, how do end something with that much history without being the bad guy? Iwaizumi wouldn't have to fuss over Oikawa's every move, making sure there wasn't too much strain on his knee, making sure he was taking his meds, eating enough food, getting enough sleep. Who wants a boyfriend that can't even take care of himself? 

If he ran away right now, no one would notice, no one would care, because Oikawa Tooru was a burden. A high maintenance boyfriend, a high maintenance son, a high maintenance friend. No one wants high maintenance people in their life. The girls that followed him around at school, they didn't know him, they only knew Oikawa Tooru, the volleyball player with the cool serves. Most of his serves were risky, and ended up scoring the other team points instead. Why anyone would be impressed by that was beyond him. 

He sighed and walked over to the basin, splashing water on his face. It did nothing to clear his mind. Instead as he looked at himself in the mirror, his self-hatred seemed to bubble. His eyes were growing dry from having the contacts in for too long, he had a dull ache in his head from the same thoughts going through his head on repeat, his knee was almost screaming "don't put pressure on me". 

All these things wrong with him, what was the appeal? Why did the girls love him? why did the other schools fear him? Why did Kageyama Tobio look up to him? He was just Oikawa. Worthless, broken, shitty Oikawa. People only put up with him because of his anxiety. How do you tell someone with anxiety that everything to panic about is true? They never said it in so many words, but Oikawa knew. 

He felt the back of his eyes prickle and hot tears began to roll down his cheeks and fall to the floor below him. Now he was crying. He really was pathetic. He pressed his back against one the lockers and slid down until he touched the floor. Vision completely clouded by tears, he grabbed his knees and pulled them to his chest. He placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs. The janitor was probably about to start cleaning the gym, and there was no point in distracting him. He took a while to calm down but eventually he wiped the tears from his eyes, and stood himself up, despite the shooting pain in his knee. He washed his face and removed his contacts, replacing them with his glasses, slung his back pack over his shoulder and exited the locker room. The gym was mostly dark, except for the light by the entrance and the white light of a phone screen coming from one of the benches. 

"Iwa-chan?" 

Iwaizumi looked up from his phone and pocketed the device, walking over to Oikawa. 

"Ready to go?" He asked. Oikawa looked at him wearing a stunned expression 

"H-have you been out here the whole time?" 

"Yup. I know you don't like company during your episodes, so I waited. Did you take your meds today?" 

"Of course I did. They don't cure it you know" Oikawa snapped. 

"Okay, I just needed to check. I'm sorry for calling you names. I should've picked up that you weren't in the mood for it." Iwaizumi apologised. Oikawa shrugged. 

"My mom doesn't even notice I'm not home" he deadpanned, as they headed for the exit. He turned to lock the door, but his hands were shaking. Iwaizumi grabbed his hands and took the key. 

"Thats probably my fault" he said as he locked the door. 

"My mom called, asking where I was, and I said I was with you. She probably told Yuuko" he explained and returned the key to Oikawa. 

"Oh. I'm sorry I'm such a burden" he said softly, looking away from Iwaizumi. 

"I'm sorry that I made you wait for hours and I'm sorry that I made your mom worry. I'm such a-" 

"Hey" Iwaizumi said softly, putting a hand on Oikawa's cheek and forcing him to face him. 

"None of that. You're not a burden. I would happily wait for you for hours, days, months, years. It's been that way since we were 2 and that won't change now. Come on. Lets go get some food". 

Iwaizumi drove to their local take away shop, and both settled on ramen noodles. Oikawa was quiet all throughout dinner. 

"Did you want to stay at my place tonight? I downloaded some of star trek episodes." Iwaizumi suggested. 

"You hate star trek" Oikawa sighed. 

"Yeah, but you don't" 

"I don't know Hajime. I think I just want to go straight home and crash. It's been a long day." Oikawa sighed again and Iwaizumi looked at him sympathetically. 

"Okay, tomorrow then" 

 

Oikawa tossed and turned. He'd been trying to get to sleep for hours, but to no avail. His body was used to sleeping at 4am, not 12am. Finally he conceded. He grabbed his gym bag and headed out to the school. He unlocked the gym door and set up. For an hour he practiced his serves. The first few went out, a couple hit the net, but soon enough he found himself sending the ball exactly where he wanted it to go. He was doing it, he was getting back into it, soon enough he'd be able to teach those first years what really happens when you laugh at your captain and then- 

Oikawa screamed. He was on the ground and felt a blinding pain shoot out from his knee. He must've landed on it badly, or jumped off strange, or maybe he'd just overworked it all together. The pain was so intense he couldn't breathe properly. He needed to call someone. He glanced at his gym bag sitting on the bench. In reality it wasn't that far, but as he tried to stand, only to collapse again, it seemed further away from anything. He slowly began to slide over to the bench, each move sending a wave of pain through his body. He bit down into the flesh of his hand, in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain. Oikawa finally made his way to the bench, and he pulled his gym bag down. The contents of his bag spilled out onto the floor, his keys, jacket, water bottle. He grabbed his phone and and started ringing. 

"Tooru?" Iwaizumi said sleepily.  
"It's nearly 1:30 in the morning". Oikawa could tell he was trying not to sound irritated. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I made a mistake and I-"

"Why do you sound hurt?" He said, a very serious tone to his voice. 

"My knee" Oikawa groaned. 

"Okay I'm coming over" there was a faint rustle as Iwaizumi got out of bed.

"Wait wait! Iwa-Chan!" Oikawa called 

"Yeah, I'm here" 

"I'm not at home. I'm at the school - the gym" 

"What in the gods names are yo-" Iwaizumi was cut off my whimper as another wave of pain shot through Oikawa's body. 

"Shit okay, I'll be there soon" Iwaizumi said and hung up. 

It felt like hours, but Iwaizumi did eventually arrive. He stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in the image of his boyfriend on the floor, writhing in pain, unsure of what to do. This was all too familiar to him, almost exactly like tge first time this happened. He promised himself he wouldn't let Oikawa do that too himself again. He'd failed. He shook himself out if his trance and ran over to him. 

"Tooru?" 

"Iwa-Chan. It hurts" Oikawa sobbed. Iwaizumi knelt down and examined Oikawa's knee. 

"Can you move it?" 

Oikawa shook his head, starting to curl in on himself. Iwaizumi furrowed his brow in concern. He gathered Oikawa's scattered possessions and slung the bag over his shoulder. 

"Tooru, this is gonna hurt for a second" he said and he scooped Oikawa into his arms, holding him bridal style. Oikawa screamed again, and Iwaizumi cringed. He hated seeing Oikawa in pain. 

"Hey, I'm sorry, but soon we'll be at the hospital and you can get high on morphine" Iwaizumi joked, but Oikawa just whimpered, clinging to the other's shirt. 

In the end it turns out Oikawa had worsened his Jumpers Knee. The doctor had given him very strong painkillers, and recommended at least 2 weeks of bed rest. Oikawa had tried to protest, claiming he needed to be on top of his game for when the scouts came, but it was either 2 weeks bedrest, or no more volleyball ever again. After having his knee strapped, he was allowed to return home, but Iwaizumi refused to let his boyfriend out of his sight again, taking him to his home instead. Oikawa was doped up on meds and talking nonsense. 

"We should stop seeing each other" Oikawa mumbled, and Iwaizumi's heart stopped. 

"You don't mean that." 

"No. I don't. But we should. You wouldn't have to spend all your time worrying about little old me" he mumbled. 

"Idiot. When are you going to get it throught your skull? I like worrying about you. I've been doing it for 16 years and I don't intend to stop now" Iwaizumi said softly, laying next to him and caressing his cheek. 

"But I-" 

"No buts. I love you, and that won't change. Get some rest Tooru" he whispered. Oikawa snuggled into him, and Iwaizumi listened to his breathing change as he fell asleep. After stroking his lovers hair for a short amount of time, Iwaizumi himself felt his eyes droop as he welcomed sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this at 3am. I hope everyone enjoyed it!


End file.
